Meriwythr Truefriend

The Fascinating and Absolutely True History of Sir Meriwythr Truefriend, Renaissance Thief and Beloved Citizen of Elanthia


Personal histories are like a bit like illnesses -- they're ever so interesting to their owner, but tend to cause other people to edge away, making up excuses about socks that want mending or tailor's bills that want paying. I've no idea why Micwolf (such a charming fellow, but really, he does NAG so) thinks anyone would want to read my personal history, but writing it is preferable to hearing yet another reminder of it, so off we go.

I was born in Akroeg the Ram, the 305th year, which makes me fifty-five as of this writing. My mother was named Lese Lancaster Aryllia, wife of Baron Magaer Aryllia, Lord of Lomari -- and yes, I'm afraid that does make me something of a noble, but no fear! I was properly disinherited and really, I don't go about with my nose in the air or anything of the sort. I suppose technically one ought to call me Lord Meriwythr, but that couldn't possibly make the slightest bit of difference, and I'm not much for standing on ceremony. In any case, as I've said, I was disinherited (if I wanted to truly bore you I could go into a long-winded explanation of why Aryllia, my homeland, is a Barony and yet its Baron is usually called a Lord, but the truth of the matter is I don't understand the reason myself -- you'd have to ask my cousin Annys about that; she's simply fascinated by dry and dusty history and things of that nature), and that of course explains why I'm here in Zoluren (or Illithi or Therengia, as the case may be) instead of sitting at home putting on airs and practicing to be the ruler of a tiny speck of a province that no one has ever heard of.

As I've said, there's no need to refer to me as Lord Meriwythr, but I think Sir Meriwythr sounds frightfully dashing and wouldn't at all complain if you addressed me so.

Bother. I'm nattering on and I don't think I've actually gotten 'round to saying anything about myself. Let's see. I'm a Elf, of course (a remarkably handsome one, even if I do say it), and one would naturally assume that I'm a Paladin, since I use the title of Sir and am really a most honorable chap. One would be mistaken, though, as I'm a Thief. Being a Thief is ever so much fun, and I've just about outgrown my earlier impulses to join the Paladin Guild for real -- such a dull lot they are for the most part, and they let the most frightfully unsuitable people in. Really, I think full well half of them haven't a speck a honor within them. It's true, of course, that I have a dreadful habit of nabbing coins and gems from other people, and I expect many people think of that as a dishonorable action, but I disagree. I always return anything I take if I'm caught, and if I'm not caught, well, that's your fault, then, isn't it? I'd be terribly arrogant if I presumed to feel responsible for the eyesight of others.

I'm a bachelor, and likely to remain that way for a myriad of reasons, the most noteworthy being that I've yet to meet the right lady. I suspect she isn't out there, and truth be told, I'm not overly anxious about the matter as I can't imagine ever being more devoted to a lady than I am to my Lady Faenella, whom I worship steadfastly and devoutly. I've had a few lady friends over the years, of course, but eventually we go our separate ways, and I daresay they've breathed as deep a sigh of relief as I have when the time came to part ways.

As for my history since I first came to Crossing (good Gods, that's been over twelve years now!), well, I've gotten into a few disputes, attended several wonderful Festivals (wasn't that latest Festival up in Theren simply SMASHING? I acquired a terribly clever hat with a crimson plume -- I do adore red -- and any number of other wonderfully useless items), served as a Barrister a time or two in the Elanthian Court -- oh, and speaking of courts, though not really as it's a different sort of Court (but this is my history so I'm allowed all the non sequesters I like) -- I'm a member of Lord Rayth's Court, and a finer and more upstanding fellow you couldn't find anywhere, even if he is Human.

I have the oddest feeling that I've rambled on far more than I'm supposed to, and I expect this isn't much by way of a history. Ah well, it'll have to do. I've simply got to have a nice tot of brandy, and it's my bad luck that I'm fresh out, so it's time for me to go 'round to Taelbert's and stock up again. If you've read this far then I really am compelled to advise you to seek more enlightening forms of entertainment. Oh, yes, one last thing -- if you ever catch me with my hand in your pocket, do try not to blow things all out of proportion. A chap's got to make a living, after all.