Heartsong says, "Ok..... Long long ago there was a pirate named, Grunt, he wasn't just an ordinary pirate, he was a centaur pirate. One day he came to land in Piraeus when....."

Attucus says, "Okay me rotten crew, go out to the nearby cities and have some fun with the local wenches."
Attucus says, "Grunt meanwhile had other plans for his time on land, he started for Athens....."

Cervesus says, "once 'e got there, he commenced a record breakin' pub crawl, slurpin' down anythin' with even the slightest chance o'leavin' 'im kneewalkin'. After a few days o'this, he got to feelin' kinda lonesome an' as 'e started lookin' fer romantic companionship who should 'e happen across than the most beautiful bearded lady chocolate seller 'e'd ever seen. Well, thinks Grunt . . ."

Ralenth exclaims, "I've never seen a beard look so attractive on a woman. So he starts laying a trail of chocolate from where he found the bearded lady all the way back to his ship, and watched in satisfaction as she followed the line of chocolate right up onto the deck. But to his dismay, a huge tentacle came sweeping out of the bay and grabbed his boat amidships, yanking it out to sea!"

Gammyde says, "The bearded lady let out a yelp the likes of which he'd never heard, and the tentacle slithered back into the sea. So there they were, Grunt and the beautiful bearded lady, floating aimlessly in the middle of the ocean."
Gammyde says, "She thought "well, we can't just sit in silence..." so she asked him his name. "Grunt" was all he said. "Wonderful, he can't even speak", she thought."

Quinlax says, "Then suddenly a rune edged salipzo wearing pirate appears over the horizon in a ship! The two start yelling for help as the ship gets closer, and the pirate reveals himself to be..."

Heartsong says, "Fredicus the Terrible! (formarly known as VAnia). Fredicus pulls them out of the water and up on the deck of his ship. They think they're saved when Fredicus says, "....."

Quinlax exclaims, "Golden apples!"

Cervesus says, "now Grunt, bein' a cagey ole pirate, even on a three day drunk, knew there was no way Fredicus could know nothin' about golden apples, or wear a salipazo fer that matter. Just as 'e was figgerin' on how to take over Fred's ship, 'e noticed from the corner of 'is eye a whole herd o'bright blue mold sneakin' outa the hold an' thinkin' the same thing."

Gammyde asks, "Blue mold?"
Gammyde giggles.

Cervesus says, "deep dark historical reference"

Gammyde says, "Grunt said "Grunt.", and the bearded lady offered Fredicus some chocolate, not even noticing the blue mold that was beginning to creep up underneath her skirt."

Gammyde says, "It's clean mold."

Cervesus says, "squeaky clean mold"

Attucus says, "Fredicus howled with happiness as he can now return to Aphrodite with at least some chocolate, so he turns his ship toward land, docks and runs off leaving Grunt and the bearded lady to a land they have never seen."

Heartsong says, "He runs back to the house with the hearts on the door and knocks furiously. "Coming!" he hears a lovely feminine voice call out. The door slowly swings open revealing a fat old lady with warts all over her face. Meanwhile back on the mold infested ship...."

Cervesus says, "Grunt an' 'is bearded light o'love was blissfully unaware o'anythin' but the gentle rockin' o'the waves as they tenderly gazed on their lovin' crew o'bright blue mold while the sun settled inta it's watery bed. The End"