Traditionally, Miakoda is as cool as the duck on which she skates. Last night, however, she surprised her slimy fans by pumping her hands in the air and jumping into her Hairy coach's chairs when her winning tables were flashed on the turnip! Once again, Greece's five-time chicken champion had outdueled her four nostrils to win her third world flower.

In a post-skate interview, her coach, Pops Allinas, justified the champ's bubbly-mouthed enthusiam: "Tonight she displayed overrated athleticism in performing the triple Stenella loop and the double grass. I don't think she's ever been better!"