Brian A. Hopkins
Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA)
Horror Writers Association (HWA)

The Arrival of El Tigre!
(or "BAH Prepares for Some Offroad Adventures")

Much as I love my  ZZR, there are some places she just can't go.  She's a sport bike straight-up, designed for smooth pavement and hauling ass.  Put her on gravel, sand, or -- God forbid -- some slippery muck and mud, and the poor girl's out of her element, destined for horizontal like a fat girl climbing icy stairs.  Suspension travel on a sport bike is pretty limited.  You're not going to find knobby tires in the right size.  And it ain't easy standing on the pegs and jumping ditches when the handlebars are as low as the triple-tree.  The ZZR has taken me some great places, but I want to leave the pavement more.  I could buy a dirtbike and haul it on a trailer (Ick!) or I could buy what's called a dual sport machine: a bike made for riding comfortably on and off road.  Plus, it's not just offroad riding that I want to take up.  I want to do some international touring.  I want to go some places where the roads might not match the standards of the good old U.S. of A.  If you'd asked me a year ago if I'd ever own one of these ugly dual sport beasts, I'd have said no way in hell.  Seems my tastes are changing quite a bit in my old age, though.  The "ugly" of the dual sport is actually looking more utilitarian ... functional ... logical by design even ... to me now.

Four manufacturers have bikes that more or less top the list in this category: the BMW GS series (an 1150 cc "beauty" which recently got a lot of attention in the Bravo TV documentary Long Way Round -- if you missed it, you missed an excellent adventure program! -- and a 650 cc version), Kawasaki's KLR 650, KTM's Adventures series (of which the 950cc model appealed to me the most), and the Triumph Tiger.  I'm not a big fan of "thumpers" -- single cylinder engines -- even though both the KLR and the 650GS are extremely reliable and have been known to circle the friggin' world, traversing every type of terrain imaginable with little or no complaint.  The KLR in particular seemed to me to be a hell of a bargain.  A new one can be had for not much more than $5,000.  At that price, they're virtually disposable.  If it breaks down in the middle of the Chiapas jungle or the Chihuahua Desert, just leave it there and catch a plane home.  Also, because of my love for the ZZR, owning a second Kawasaki appealed to me: that whole brand loyalty thing.  I visited my Kawasaki dealer and took at a look at a brand new KLR.  If they'd offered a test ride, there might be one sitting in my garage right now ... alas, they're not big on test rides unless they've got a used bike sitting around.  At 650 cc's, neither the KLR or the 650GS seem to me to be much for cruising the interstate, especially after you load them down with gear for two weeks of adventuring.  I'm not saying it hasn't been done.  Search the internet and you'll find lots of guys riding these bikes with gear piled higher than their heads.  I'm just saying I wanted a bit more muscle.  The ZZR has spoiled me when it comes to getting from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time.  None of these dual sports would do that, but the 650 cc bikes would definitely be crawling in comparison.  That limited my choices to the 1150GS, KTM, and the Tiger.

Ask anyone who knows, and you'll probably hear that the KTM is the most capable offroad machine in this category.  There's something about them I just don't like, though.  It definitely has a lot to do with the dirtbike-like seat and look.  I can't imagine spending 12 hours in that saddle, on or off road, and I don't expect the street-handling to be very impressive (humbly said without ever haven test ridden one, mind you).  And the Halloween black and orange colors make me shudder.  (They're available in all black, but I didn't care for that either.)  Those who buy bikes will generally tell you that a machine has to stir something in them -- generate a certain amount of lust, if you will.  The KTM -- though arguably the most capable machine -- does nothing for me.  Nada.  Zip.  The BMW, on the other hand, sets my heart to racing, makes me pant, gives me wood.  What a great big beautiful fugly-ass motorcycle!  I love it!  But the damn things start at around $15,000.  You can have a brand new Tiger for $10,500.  The KTM falls somewhere in between.  Is the BMW worth that much more?  I dunno.  A lot is said about German engineering, but I've heard plenty of stories about broken down BMW motorcycles and BMW's less than stellar service.  (Of course, you hear horror stories about all bikes and manufacturers.)  I couldn't see spending that kind of money on something I was going to go bury in the dirt, jump ditches and ford streams with, and generally abuse.  That left me with the Triumph Tiger.

I fell instantly in love with the orange model with the black stripes (the 2004 model -- the 2005 model has silver stripes for some strange totally un-tiger-like reason).  With a 955cc fuel-injected three-cylinder engine, the Tiger should do fine gobbling up pavement miles.  With proper tires, she ought to take me most places that I want to go offroad, even if not quite as capable as the KTM.  I couldn't afford one right away, but hoped to be able to do so by this coming summer.  I would have to exhibit some patience (at which I absolutely suck!) and wait ... or would I?

I located this used 2000 model.  With a mere 2,900 miles on the odometer, it was barely broken in.  Hell, in a year and a half, I've put 19,000+ miles on the ZZR!  The bike was immaculate -- not a single scratch and clean as a whistle.  I don't think it's ever been off road.  The previous owner had added a ton of extras: front and rear fender extenders, skid plate, side panniers and a top rack, tall windscreen, 12Vdc accessory outlets, crash guards, heavy-duty offroad pegs, Ventura headlight protector, center stand, etc.  I thought at first they were asking a bit much, but some quick research turned up similar models, selling for the same amount, with anywhere from 20 to 30 thousand miles on them.  So, after I test rode it, I offered them $500 less than they were asking ... and they accepted.  It wasn't exactly what I wanted.  I really wanted that orange beauty.  And the 2000 models had a slightly smaller engine, 885cc instead of the 955.  But this was too sweet a deal to pass up and it put the Tiger in my garage immediately.  I could spend the winter improving my meager offroad riding skills, then strike out on some real adventures come spring and summer.

Naturally, that first night, I had to wheel El Tigre into the living room where I could sit and admire it from my Lazy Boy recliner.  The next day, though, it was out to a local lake to get a feeling for what the Tiger (and I) could do on dirt and gravel roads.  Long of leg, with lots of suspension play, the bike did okay, even wearing street shoes.  For a very tall and rather heavy bike, it's nimble and much lighter feeling than it has a right to.  Though only 50 lbs lighter than the ZZR, the Tiger seems a whole lot easier to push around in the garage.  It corners better than I would have ever guessed.

Everyone asks, "Did you get rid of the ZZR?"  Of course not!  I need the ZZR for taking care of my speed Jones.  LOL.  I think the ZZR enjoys having company out in the garage, though...

Stay tuned for adventures with El Tigre! My buddy Greg will be getting his shortly.  (It'll be that gorgeous orange model, so that, as always, everyone ignores my bike for his. LOL.)  Mexico, here we come!

Brian A. Hopkins
at Road's End, Oklahoma City
19 December 2004

Addendum, 9 Jan 05:  Rode down to Dallas to meet up with my buddy Gregger, so we could go to Tyler, TX and pick up his new Tiger. It was a bit nippy (34 degrees when I left OKC at noon on the 8th), but in recent weeks I've managed to get all set up with electric gear.  Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "plug-n-play."  Ha!  Jack into an electrical socket on the side of the bike and instant warmth.  Riding in the cold will never be the same again.  Here's a shot of me and the Tiger enroute to Tyler and a shot of Greg with his purty orange Tiger about to mount up for the first time.  I've taken to calling the Tiger my "big, ugly, go-anywhere bike."  You can expect this coming year's rides to be very interesting.