Submitted: 21 July 1999

Remembering the Truth of a Name

by Tusker Afraid of Mammoth

Puffin exclaimed, "Heyo Tusker!"

I replied "Greetings to you small one who is not a gnome"

it was my dear friend and newly adopted halfling brother Puffin. He bounced around happily. He seemed incapable of remaining still and tiny bells on his gaudy tabard jingled constantly.

Puffin eyes danced as he asked, "Will you tell me your story again? I like stories! Especially your Kaldar stories."

I chuckled and said, "Again I will tell you how I came to these lands. Remembering comes in the telling and re-telling and Truth and Wisdom come from the remembering"

Puffin grinned and fidgeted impatiently.

Looking fondly at the silly little fellow, I began my tale.

"When I was still a follower of the women, a small one, no taller than you but half your years. My uncles came to me and told me it was my time to become a man."

Puffin said in his best attempt at a deep voice, "They set me upon a high plateau with nothing but a rattle, a drum and an obsidian blade"

I exclaimed, "You are learning my story! see!"

I laughed and said, " You speak truth, they set me in that sacred place with nothing but a rattle, a drum and an obsidian blade"

I drew an obsidian blade from my harness.

"This is the blade" I said, "Struck from the cold black heart of a mountain that once burned hotter than flame and moved like a shimmering stream."

I returned the blade to my harness and pulled a shaman's rattle decorated with colorful beaded feathers on leather thongs from inside my pack and gazed at it for a moment.

I quietly said, "this is the rattle" then I shook it, feeling its power.

"This was a spoil of war, passed down in my family... a thing of great power"

Puffin studied the rattle, transfixed.

I reached into my pack and pulled out a bundle wrapped in white deerskin. I carefully unwrapped it revealing a time worn, jasper-eyed troll skull damaru. I quietly said, "this is the drum. It too was a spoil of war, passed down in my family... a thing of great power"

Puffin stared at the damaru looking a bit frightened.

"My uncles told me to sing and pray and sacrifice until I had a vision, then I would return to our camp a man."

Puffin smiled and said, "this I did" mimicking my somber tone and then he giggled.

"Would you tell the story small one?", I asked.

I smirked, Puffin grinned

"I prayed 3 days and three nights, I sang the songs of my ancestors, I cut myself and made blood offerings, I took no food or water."

I began a slow beat on the damaru and sang first in my native tongue, then in common for Puffin's ears.

"Come old ones... I seek my vision

come old ones... show me the path of a man

come old ones... I seek my vision"

I continued, "As the dawn began to show like red fire on the horizon on the third day... I heard a rumbling like thunder but saw no cloud in the dawnsky."

Puffin gasped!

I exclaimed, "The earth shook! I fell to the ground"

I fell to the ground just as i did in the telling. Puffin leaned forward and I beat out a sound like thunder on the taut head of the damaru.

"I spread my arms wide... hugging the Earth our mother... crying out to her to give me strength. The rumbling grew louder, closer..."

Puffin shrieked loudly, like a frightened mouse.

"I thought I heard cries of women and children in the distance... the singing of deathsongs.. and then the dawnsky was blacked out by a huge looming shape."

I raised my arms to cover my face.

"I was paralyzed with darkest fear... I closed my eyes tight..denying the vision.. but I smelled it... animal must and blood..overpowering... "

Puffin gasped!

I exclaimed "I felt hot breath on my face... I felt someting like a hand with two wet, hairy fingers touching me... I screamed!"

Puffin shuddered.

" I opened my eyes... and there... standing over me was a huge mammoth! I screamed again... but no sound came out..."

I opened my mouth in a silent scream.

" I lost myself in the spirit world... my uncles' uncles came to me and the old ones... all who had passed and walked what you call 'the starry road' and we call the home path. They smiled on me... the knowing smile of elders... they gave me my name"

I spoke my name in my native toungue.Then, just for effect, I glared at Puffin and said,

"It is hard for you to wrap your weak tongues around here in the east. So, it is Tusker Afraid of Mammoth for you"

"I protested that I would never fear the mammoth again... the mammoth was my helper spirit now!"

"But they shook their heads. they said 'Your path will be hard... far will you stray and mammoths will serve you like dogs in the camp, but you will again fear the mammoths you will run from the mammoths. We will send another guide to help you.' "

I saw myself wrapped in black...running before a thundering herd..bolts and arrows raining down around me.."

Puffin cowered in fear as I pounded on the damaru, making it sound like a thundering army of mammoths.

"In my vision I looked up and saw an eagle dive from the sky. I ran. I chased it. It flew into a hole and I followed. I was being tugged at by little people, like trickster gnomes without beards. Then I was falling. The eagle turned to me and looked at me with the eyes of an elder and let out a piercing cry that I heard as a word."

"Remember!"

Puffin jerked as I sat back up

"I sat up with a start! and was back in this world... I looked up to see the eagle circling above me. It flew back towards our camp... and I saw other eagles circle there... and vultures... and crows... and ravens... the birds of war come for spoils... I saw smoke rising. I heard a sharp rap on my head before I even felt it! Then a sharp pain..."

"Then blackness"

I briefly closed my eyes.

"When I awoke I was a prisoner of the Gorbesh"

Puffin gasped!

They are fools, and no longer speak to the Earth... so they did not know I was a man. They spared me and set me to work cleaning behind the mammoths and I learned to care for them. As I grew stronger, they saw my gift. I rose in their ranks. I rode the mammoths into battle against many foes and my heart grew as hard and black as my blade."

I fingered the rotted strip of sinew with shrunken gnome skulls attached by strings of bone beads that still hangs in my hair.

"Many innocents fell before me especially the little ones, the gnomes. I did not speak to the earth. I denied my vision. I was the Master of Mammoths and I knew no fear"

Then we brought our war here. We would bring Gorbesh order and law to savage Zoluren. I was commanded to take my mammoths down a steep slope.. into a peaceful little valley. It was a village of your people, the little ones, the halflings..."

Puffin exclaimed, "Olvi!"

I chuckled, "yes, olvi"

"Many small ones fought bravely, but they were no match for us. Some of the Gorbesh soldiers made sport of killing the little children. launching them in catapults... tossing them in the air to catch them on pikes... I took no part or pleasure but I did nothing to stop them"

"Then I saw an eagle swooping down and snatching children... I remembered my vision ... the ways of my people and I followed it... but my heart was hard and black. I thought , 'it is a warrior like us! collecting its spoils!' and I laughed. I grew puzzled when I saw it flying into a doorway in one of your tiny holes, then it would come out and get another child. I signaled my mammoth to kneel and I dismounted. I crept to the door of the grassy little hill and bent low to enter, my eyes adjusting to the light saw tiny children scrambling to hide.

Puffin leaned forward uncociously ducking down as I had.

"The eagle struck from behind! tearing into my shoulders..knocking me to the floor. I rolled over... I grabbed its grasping talons as it rent my flesh with its beak.. I was about to tear its limbs from their sockets when we both just froze..."

Puffin gasped.

"It stared down at me with the eyes of the elders... my vision flashed before me... and all around me little children peered out of hiding places.. I let go of the eagle and it flew to the window.. perched a moment then looked back at me and launched itself into the sky. The little children began crying... and I knew what I had to do"

Puffin nodded vigorously.

"I gathered them up... stowing tiny ones in my pack..caryiing the bigger ones and i began ferrying them to a path out of the valley"

Puffin gripped the edge of his chair.

"It was inevitable that I would be missed... and an old enemy saw what I was doing and raised the alarm! I gathered the last of the wee ones and fled... running before my own mammoth now being driven by my enemy. We fled up the valley..children screaming... older ones carrying the small.. mammoths crashing through the trees behind us! and I again knew fear..."

Puffin's eyes grew wide as tarts.

"I looked up and saw the eagle land on a small outcrop of rock ahead of us... i directed the children to it as the mammoths thundered up the slope. Dodging the bolts and arrows of the Gorbesh warriors, guarding the children with my shield.There was a small cave behind the eagles nest and I directed the children into it but I was too large to fit."

"The eagle shrieked! and ducked in and out of the cave as the lead mammoth, my mammoth, closed on our position. i dove in head first, arms outstretched.. I felt the trunk of my mammoth grip my ankle as I tried to squeeze through the whole.. the older boys reached up and grabbed my hands. they were pulling me as hard as they could but the mammoth was dragging me back out... then I heard the shriek of the eagles' war cry and heard the mammoth trumpet and wail in pain as only a mammoth can... the ground shook... rocks fell...the children screamed...

I punctuated my words with the damaru and rattle.

"but I was pulled free... and into the larger cavern"

Puffin got an impish expression on his face, and let out a hearty cheer.

"I followed the caves until we saw light... When we found our way out, I took the children and taught them to live in the wood for i was sure that all of your realms had fallen before the Gorbesh. We were happy but the children longed for their home.

One day I met a beautiful human ranger.... and she told me the Gorbesh had long since withdrawn and turned their attention closer to home. She told me of refugees streaming into the Crossing from my homelands and the welcome they were receiving. She led us back to the little village, to the little knoll... A sign above it said, "Waif's Home" and I left the children there in good hands and made my way here. This is the Truth! Remember!

Puffin applauded and said in sing song voice "And that is why you still wear your Gorbesh stuff. Because it is part of you and your truth and you honor the gnomes by wearing their nasty little shrunken skulls as penance for your dark deeds!"

I said " You think you know the story but there is a new part of the telling Puffin..."

"Today I was accosted by guards of this city...they told me I must register as a citizen of Zoluren and put my name upon paper."

"This I did in both Gorbesh and common... but a wizened little clerk said my name was not a name here.. It did not sound Zoluren enough.. So I was held captive 'til i agreed to some silly alternative she proposed... but my name is my name and you have heard the telling of it.. the wisdom and the truth."

Puffin hugged me.

"I have beseeched your so called "Great Mages" in this matter but they have chosen to turn a deaf ear"

Puffin exclaimed, "that stinks!"

I chuckled "You are profound and you waste no words Puffin!"