Submitted: 5 June 1997


Never Ever Hunt with Chiton

by Mobius Zenn

(The Dreaded Marsh, Zoluren: 4 Shorka 349) Mobius Zenn sits on a stump, slowly whittling a sorry looking cane with a look of severe concentration on his face. He is so engrossed in his work, he is startled when fellow Ranger, Chiton Bugcruncher speaks from behind him.

"I want to hunt some crocodiles," he says as Mobius jumps a bit.

"Blue-bellied crocodiles in the marsh?" Mobius looks over Chiton carefully. "You're insane. Everyone dies there."

"We wont die, I have an idea. A system. It can't fail." Chiton says flatly.

"Everytime you say that, I end up having to explain to Everild why he should give me another chance," Mobius sighs.

"Let's go," Chiton says, stalking off to the north.

Mobius looks at his cane and shakes his head slowly. He throws it to the ground with a slight shrug and sets off after the S'Kra Mur he's come to adore like a brother.

A short time later, both are knee deep in the murky waters of the marsh, not sure where they came in or where they will leave.

A blue-bellied crocodile arrives, hissing loudly as it spots Mobius.

"Now would be a good time to explain that plan," Mobius whispers.

"Draw your scimitar, and go distract it while I shoot arrows at it," Chiton nods towards the crocodile.

"Excuse me? Why can't I shoot at it while you dance around those teeth?" Mobius pleads, fighting a hopeless battle.

"Because I shoot better than you...go," Chiton gives Mobius a slight push.

Mobius grumbles to himself and starts off toward the crocodile slowly. And arrow flies a handswidth past his ear and sails over the crocodile, sticking in a nearby tree.

"Sorry," Chiton calls after Mobius, breaking the silence.

The crocodile, apparantly a lover of silence, charges at Mobius. Mobius, while screaming, brings down his scimitar to try to knock the head away from it's intended target, his leg.

The marsh echos with Mobius howl of pain as he looks down at the stump where his foot used to be. He falls over in a crumpled pile of leather, blood and pain.

"Get up," urges Chiton, as he sticks an arrow into the crocodiles neck. "I've almost got him."

Having an arrow stuck into its neck really outrages the crocodile, who takes another bite as Mobius, who has just gotten to his knees. The scimitar sinks under the mire along with the bottom half of Mobius's left arm.

Mobius looses all color and falls face first into the water. His spirit hovering a bit over his dead body, he is thoroughly depressed.

"That was really an impressive plan," his ghostly voice says, as Chiton collects his scimitar and drags him away from the crocodile feasting on bits of Mobius' arm.

"You didn't do it right," Chiton explains with a shrug as he drags the lifeless elf to dry ground.