Submitted: 10 October 1998


I Think He Wanted to Hurt Me!

by Puuck Goodlaw

(Crossing, Zoluren: 206 Arhat 355)

One day, when I had just decided ta make my livin offa bein a bardy, I wuz in da guild, pwayin my floot. I dun rememba what I wuz ramblin on about, but all of a sudden a I noticed a small, hard object bein fwung at mah head. It took me several minutes ta realize it wuz a bean.

"Ow!" I said.

I realized I was the victim of repeated bean assault. I looked at the bean. The bean looked at me. I picked up the bean, and, I ate it. (Mmm. Citrusy and sweet.)

"I'm sowwy! Where I comes from, we eat beans!"

Besides, he was obviously offering it in a gesture of friendship. Why else would he be throwing it at me? Den I realize, he's threatenin my life. I didn't understand why. It wuz a bean.

I forgot all about it till a couple months ago, when I run into him and he curses me. I don't understand why. I like him a lot. A real nice guy, with a good taste in crossbows. But I think he wants to hurt me!