Portrait of Howeg as a Young Man, and Other Tales of His Piggy Life

	Mr. Howeg sits around the house looking Noble and Handsome for the entertainment of -- Well, for his own entertainment, really.
When he isn't looking Noble and Handsome, Mr. Howeg is begging for food, biting Darcy, plotting to take her life, or playing the part of Big Bad Boss Man. He rules this household with an iron tooth. As he says, "It's a pig's life, but who'd live it if I didn't?"	He looks so sweet, doesn't he? Yeah. Sure. Considering how many nicknames he has, it's hard to believe he's innocent. Here's a sample:
Feemper, Stinky, Poop-poop-a-chew, Weempie, Whoomp, Whoot, Stempie, Deedee, Dada, Ooont, Bug-eyed Fart, Evil Little Ratface Goon, Ratface, Ferret Face, Boo-boo, Bootoot, Boobeleh, Little Whatsis, Twit, Havey-Cavy, Slut-for-Parsley, Slut-for-Celery, Quivering Mass, Wimpy, Chuck, Chuck-chuck, Woodchuck-chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck-chuck, Neempurt, Neeurmple, Furred Fiend, Furred Fweeping Thing Of Doom, Furred Fart of Doom, Bubblehead, Pea-brain, No-brain, Brainless, Furry Brute, Needle-tooth, Piggie, Pigeleh, Poot-poot, and the first, the original: Pootie.